Category: Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

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Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do

Written by: Dr. Chi-Yuen TIK, Chief Executive, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

In the journey of parental education, I love to listen to parents share their experiences and reflections on disciplining their children. Exchanging and encouraging each other is the most comprehensive content of parenting education. There is no place in the world that requires parents to pass an exam before they can have children. Everyone is learning as they go, realizing things later on, and gradually becoming “experienced” parents. Children have expectations of you, society has demands on you, and parents themselves cannot afford to be lazy, so they actively learn theories and techniques for disciplining their children.

I remember a father sharing how he dealt with his son’s request to buy sneakers when the son was in the eighth grade. He told his son he would give him four hundred dollars. Naturally, the son felt it was not enough, but the father told him that four hundred dollars could buy a pair of sneakers, and if it wasn’t enough, the son would have to figure it out himself. In the end, the son bought the sneakers he wanted, but the price was saving his breakfast and lunch money to make the purchase. He said although his son was happy with the new sneakers, he also experienced days of hunger, and in the future, he would think carefully before making a purchase. The father expressed that it was tough for him to see his son go through this, but he thought it was important for his son to understand the principle of living within one’s means, even if it meant letting his son experience it firsthand.

During a lecture on how to cultivate self-care abilities in young children, a mother of a K3 student shared that her son always relied on her to pack up his homework. Over time, her son’s dependence on her increased. After much reflection, the mother decided to apply what she had learned from parenting seminars. She told her son that he needed to take care of his own things and that she would no longer pack his school bag for him. She was also mentally prepared for her son to be reprimanded by the teacher for not handing in his homework. As expected, to avoid further scolding from the teacher, the son started to pack his school bag by himself every day. Although he may not yet fully understand the importance of taking responsibility for his own affairs, he has begun to take his own matters seriously and no longer relies on his mother’s “help.” The mother also stopped providing unconstructive help and care for her son.

After all, classroom learning is enjoyable, but practical application can be painfully insightful, with a mix of joys and challenges. While applying parenting techniques, it is also a challenge to the parents’ personal values and life experiences. Parents also need to have a balanced mindset and self-awareness. This is precisely the purpose of parenting education.

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Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

Don’t let the promotion of a child to the next grade harm the child’s psyche

Written by: Octopus Parent, Mr. Leung Wing Lok

The registration for Primary One discretionary places has closed, and parents who have “bought and left” can only resign themselves to fate. During the period from now until the release of the allocation results, the only thing that can be done under the government’s school allocation system is to “wait idly.” There are still a small number of Direct Subsidy Scheme (DSS) and private schools accepting applications. Parents who are unwilling to participate in the lottery for the central allocation can try their luck with DSS and private schools. Moreover, there are many websites that list the application deadlines for self-financed and private schools. For parents of students who have already applied to DSS and private schools, especially those who are preparing intensively for interviews, I must remind parents to prioritize their children’s mental health.

Intensive interviews harm children’s psychology

Humans always tend to repeat mistakes. Every year, after the peak period of interviews in September and October has passed, there are many well-intentioned people and organizations concerned with children’s mental health reminding us not to let intensive interviews harm children’s psychology. From what I remember, the most shocking newspaper headline was “Unable to withstand the intensive interviews for Primary One, a 5-year-old girl becomes depressed and wants to jump off a building.” These young children, only 5 or 6 years old, still do not understand what primary school life is about, nor do they know the difference between good and bad schools. It’s all because of how parents describe them, saying “This is a prestigious school, but if you get into another one, it’s a disaster,” and so on, leaving the children confused and thus under immense pressure. There have been investigations by psychiatrists or groups showing that many children have developed symptoms of depression and anxiety, including suicidal thoughts, and need immediate treatment.

Depression that cannot be voiced

I remember, during my days as a journalist, interviewing veteran principals and psychiatrists. Some children, especially those who are more introverted and slow to warm up, might go through several interviews in a day during the busiest times. They play games and answer questions respectfully in front of a large number of unfamiliar principals and teachers. Afterwards, parents repeatedly ask about the content of the “games and answers,” and even scold or instruct them on how to respond without any reason, making it inevitable for some to be unable to bear it.

After becoming a parent myself, I have become even more mindful of what the psychiatrist said. Parents should not only pay attention to changes in their children’s daily habits, such as suddenly losing interest in their usual hobbies like watching TV, reading, and playing with toys—all of which are abnormal changes. More importantly, parents should be aware of their own changes. Have parents, in the process of preparing resumes and getting nervous about interviews, turned into a ‘Hulk’ at home, constantly in a state of anger, or have they put a halt to parent-child activities such as storytelling, playing, and outdoor activities during holidays? If parents transform into Primary One monsters, how can children possibly remain unaffected?

Parents, please remember, children are only 5 to 6 years old and still do not know how to express the depression and pressure in their hearts. They may even be reluctant to show anger towards their parents, keeping their feelings bottled up inside. Even if it doesn’t lead to psychological illness, if the parent-child relationship is broken, it can be very difficult to repair. The trust between parent and child is like a piece of paper; once you crumple it, you can never return it to its original state.

This article may sound a bit preachy, and I don’t know if considering the psychological changes in children when choosing a school counts as a strategy or tip. I only know that parents are always anxious about their children’s future, but please remember the wish you often expressed when your child was born: “To grow up healthy and happy, and to become a useful person is enough.” But when faced with considerations for Primary One, have you forgotten your original intention?

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Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

Apart from good grades and getting into a good school, what else does a child need?

Written by: Ms  Carmen Leung (Teacher Car Car)

Many parents often ask, “What is holistic education?” If we look at the profound wisdom of the Chinese people spanning thousands of years, it is about cultivating a child’s “virtue, intelligence, physical fitness, social skills, and aesthetics.” From the perspective of psychologists, it involves developing a child’s multiple intelligences. From an educational standpoint, it goes beyond the pursuit of knowledge; we also need to nurture a child’s values, attitudes, appreciation for art and culture, interpersonal skills, problem-solving abilities, and critical thinking. In simpler terms, from a commoner’s perspective, holistic education means enabling children to excel in academics, have many friends, possess positive thinking, and excel in various aspects such as music, sports, and art. Do you want your children to experience holistic development?

Multiple intelligences are categorized into seven types, with innate and nurtured aspects each accounting for half.

In common discourse, the concept of multiple intelligences is frequently mentioned. Let’s explore holistic education from a psychological perspective. The theory of “multiple intelligences” was proposed by Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard University in 1983. He discovered that intelligence could be classified into at least seven types: linguistic intelligence, logical-mathematical intelligence, spatial intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, and intrapersonal intelligence.

When we discuss “intelligence,” parents often associate it with genius or innate talents. Is intelligence something one is born with, or is it developed later in life? In reality, an individual’s intelligence is a combination of innate and nurtured factors. Each child has a range of innate intelligence, such as an IQ of 100-120. Regardless of the stimuli provided or efforts made, their IQ cannot exceed 120. So, do we still need to cultivate a child’s multiple intelligences? Absolutely! Because whether a child’s IQ stays at 100 or reaches 120, it depends on postnatal cultivation!

Each intelligence is equally important.

So, how should it be cultivated? Through practice? Classes? Exposure to the outside world? Engaging in sports or listening to music? In reality, different intelligences have different cultivation methods. Scholars propose multiple intelligences to remind everyone that when parents focus on cultivating their children’s academic subjects such as Chinese, English, and math, they should not forget that other intelligences are equally important, especially interpersonal communication skills and personal introspective intelligence. If a child lacks any of these, how can they navigate in society? Therefore, when choosing courses for our children, don’t just opt for academic classes, language classes, or literacy classes. We should pause and think, besides academic performance, in which areas does the child need improvement? How is their communication ability? Analytical skills? Personal introspective ability? If a child’s communication skills are lacking, should parents choose courses that provide sufficient space for communication with others, such as drama classes, to allow them more opportunities to express themselves?

Remember the underlying meaning behind what I said about “multiple intelligences.” Take a moment to pause and consider the child’s development in areas beyond academics!

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Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

Dual Efforts Lead to Faster and Better Learning for Children

Written by: Education Expert, Principal Kenneth Law

We all understand that each student is an independent individual, so the speed of learning varies. However, if there are methods that can make children learn faster and better, it is undoubtedly something both parents and teachers would be pleased to see. How to help children learn faster and better is also a topic of research for many scholars.

One key factor affecting the speed of a child’s learning is the amount of existing knowledge they possess. Existing knowledge refers to what the child has learned and mastered, not only the knowledge acquired in school but also part of the knowledge gained in daily life.

Learning is like building a scaffold, gradually laying a solid foundation. Lev Vygotsky, a modern psychologist highly regarded, believes that the learning process is like constructing a “scaffold,” progressing from low to high, from small to large, using one metal rod at a time. The term “scaffold” is equivalent to the bamboo scaffolding commonly used by the Chinese. Of course, in the context of learning, it’s metaphorical.

Describing learning as constructing a scaffold brings several insights. Firstly, laying a solid foundation is crucial. Secondly, learning must proceed step by step; if one rushes and neglects certain aspects, the knowledge won’t be firmly established. Furthermore, as long as one diligently learns step by step, they will surely accumulate more and more knowledge. Additionally, different individuals can construct different shapes of bamboo scaffolding, and knowledge is not static; it evolves continuously with the development of the times.

Once the learning theory of Vygotsky is understood, the importance of existing knowledge becomes self-evident. Existing knowledge is like a bamboo scaffold already constructed, and new knowledge is added on top of the existing scaffold, making it higher and larger. The more existing knowledge one has, the more reliable it becomes, and learning new things becomes easier. There’s no need to look around distractedly, and the learning speed becomes faster.

Make good use of spare time to broaden the scope of knowledge

The content learned and the time spent in school by students may not be extensive. Therefore, making good use of spare time becomes relatively important in enhancing a child’s academic performance. Making good use of spare time does not mean participating in more training classes or doing additional supplements. On the contrary, because schools already provide comprehensive and systematic courses, it is even more crucial to focus on expanding a broader range of knowledge during spare time, making the foundation of the “bamboo scaffold” broader.

Reading books, visiting museums and exhibitions, and traveling along nature trails can all broaden a child’s horizons and expand their range of knowledge. Parents can allow children to have more autonomy, letting them choose activities they enjoy. Providing children with the space to make choices can also cultivate their ability for self-directed learning, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility, which are essential for their future.

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Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

The four major preparations for enrolling in first grade

Source: Senior Parenting Education Expert Bally

In fact, preparing for the transition to first grade can be more stressful and time-consuming. If you were to ask me, I would recommend that parents should start from Pre-Nursery to “analyze first and then plan.” But how to analyze first?

Many parents are not entirely clear about the various types of schools in Hong Kong. For instance, we have traditional government-subsidized schools, Direct Subsidy Scheme (DSS) schools, private schools, and international schools. What are the differences between these types of schools? What are their educational philosophies? What is the ideal type of school for parents based on their financial situation and aspirations?

They should first understand and analyze this, which will give them a goal. Once they have a goal, we can move on to the next step, which is to personally attend the orientation sessions of each school. Why do we believe that parents should start preparing from Pre-Nursery (PN)? Because many schools often hold orientation sessions only once a year. These orientation sessions often occur at the same time. If we wait until the year of K2 to attend these sessions, and we are interested in three different schools, and all of them schedule their sessions on the same Saturday at the same time, parents may miss out.

Secondly, it’s important to note that these orientation sessions have limited spots. While many people may sign up, there are often only a few hundred to a thousand slots available. During the course of a single day, there may be over 5,000 registrations. With such high demand, it’s possible not to secure a spot, which means you won’t have the opportunity to attend. This is why we need to prepare one to three years in advance, considering whether the school’s philosophy is suitable for your child.

If you have been attending orientation sessions for your preferred schools for the first one or two years, by the final year, you should revisit your top one to three choices multiple times. This is because educational changes in Hong Kong happen rapidly and frequently. By attending multiple sessions, you can confirm your preferred school.

In many cases, the first time someone attends may be the mother, and the second time, it may be the father. It’s essential for the family to be in agreement, so attending orientation sessions together to understand the school’s philosophy is crucial. Once everyone has a shared understanding, you can move on to the third step, where the family sits down to discuss the direction of your child’s education. What kind of education do you envision for your child’s future? Do you want a very traditional teaching method, or do you want a happy one? Some schools are called “Happy School,” but many parents mistakenly think that a “Happy School” may not be effective.

In fact, there are two major categories of “Happy School” now. Some “Happy Schools” focus solely on happiness, but their curriculum may not align with the first-grade curriculum. Others combine happiness with effectiveness, and students from these schools have the ability to select their preferred schools because they can keep up with the first-grade curriculum. Therefore, parents need to understand what a “Happy School” is, what their teaching philosophy is, and how effective they are.

Once parents reach a consensus, it’s time to truly and thoroughly select the school that is most suitable for the child. Many times, parents may choose the best school for their child because it’s considered the best. However, what is considered the best may not necessarily be the most suitable. As parents, our goal should be to find a school that is the best fit for our child. For example, if a child is very active, parents may wonder whether they should choose a more traditional school that enforces discipline and expects students to sit still. But what if the child is like a “wild horse” and sitting still is not their nature? Or if a child struggles with English, should they attend an English primary school, or should they go to an international school?

In reality, consider this: if a child’s learning abilities are far from meeting the school’s primary requirements, they may not even want to go to school. If a child is weak in English and strong in Chinese but chooses an English primary school, they might not understand what the teacher is saying, and they would have no interest in English at all. In this case, you could argue that the child doesn’t need to attend school because they won’t grasp what the teacher is teaching, and their poor performance in English could negatively impact their overall academic progress and their interest in learning.

Parents often ask how to make the right choice. To analyze this, let’s use the analogy of a small fish in a big pond versus a big fish in a small pond. If a child attends a school where their learning abilities and performance are in the middle to upper range within that school, their confidence will increase, and they won’t feel inferior to their peers. However, if they attend a school considered “good” or prestigious but their abilities are not up to par, they may struggle and feel like a small fish in a big pond. In this scenario, the child is likely to be unhappy throughout their learning journey and may feel underestimated.

So, I would recommend that parents, first and foremost, understand how to choose a suitable school. You need to comprehend the school’s educational philosophy and evaluate the academic standards for students after they enter first grade to determine if your child is a good fit in terms of English, Chinese, and mathematics. If you believe that your child can handle these aspects well and is already coping with them, then this school is likely the right fit for your child.