Month: November 2024

Categories
Promotion of Parents' Physical and Psychological Well-being

Be a parent with multiple expressions and poses!

Written: Founder & Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion, Lam Ho Pui Yee

When a child is around 6 months old, they start babbling, constantly making sounds and single words. They also enjoy playing with toys that make sounds. However, even before they learn to speak, they already understand how to communicate with the people around them using crying, sounds, facial expressions, gestures, or body language. In fact, children first learn to communicate with people using facial expressions and gestures, then they learn verbal communication, and finally, they learn to communicate through text. Therefore, accurately recognizing other people’s facial expressions helps in assessing their emotions and attitudes, thus influencing a child’s cognitive development, emotional development, and social skills. Parents’ facial expressions, actions, and postures are often what children find most attractive.

Children observe and respond to their parents’ facial expressions and emotions. For example, a gentle expression can make them feel comfortable communicating with you, a smile can boost a child’s confidence in expressing themselves, and a nod from parents indicates acceptance. Through these developments, children gradually understand, learn, and care about people’s emotions. Different parts of the body express emotions in various ways, and expressions can be categorized into facial expressions, body expressions, and verbal expressions.

To establish good parent-child communication, parents need to pay attention to several aspects:

1．When children cannot clearly see their parents’ facial expressions, it is recommended to use actions as a substitute for speech responses. For example, hugging them tightly, giving them a kiss, gently stroking their hair, or gently touching their cheeks are all important non-verbal communication methods.

2. If parents can embody a childlike and expressive role in their daily lives, children can learn a wealth of emotions and expressive skills from their parents’ facial expressions. This will undoubtedly benefit them throughout their lives.

3. Many parent-child interaction patterns involve “non-interaction” – even though they are together, there is no eye contact, conversation, message exchange, or actions, and there is no emotional sharing because everyone is watching TV, using the computer and phones, or doing their own things. Eye contact can train focus, so regularly gazing at each other with caring eyes and listening to each other’s sharing is one of the conditions for good communication.

4. Creating a quiet and simple environment helps children concentrate. True and comprehensive communication happens when they can clearly see your facial expressions. Therefore, it’s appropriate to turn off sound-producing items like the TV, tablet, or take away their beloved toys during communication.

On the journey of a child’s growth, parents who are willing to provide unconditional love and ample communication space make children feel accepted, allowing them to break free from their cocoon. Children love it when their parents appreciate them, so encouragement often has a greater impact, whether through eye contact or speech; both can be used more frequently.

Categories
Fostering Home-school Co-operation and Communication

The four major preparations for enrolling in first grade

Source: Senior Parenting Education Expert Bally

In fact, preparing for the transition to first grade can be more stressful and time-consuming. If you were to ask me, I would recommend that parents should start from Pre-Nursery to “analyze first and then plan.” But how to analyze first?

Many parents are not entirely clear about the various types of schools in Hong Kong. For instance, we have traditional government-subsidized schools, Direct Subsidy Scheme (DSS) schools, private schools, and international schools. What are the differences between these types of schools? What are their educational philosophies? What is the ideal type of school for parents based on their financial situation and aspirations?

They should first understand and analyze this, which will give them a goal. Once they have a goal, we can move on to the next step, which is to personally attend the orientation sessions of each school. Why do we believe that parents should start preparing from Pre-Nursery (PN)? Because many schools often hold orientation sessions only once a year. These orientation sessions often occur at the same time. If we wait until the year of K2 to attend these sessions, and we are interested in three different schools, and all of them schedule their sessions on the same Saturday at the same time, parents may miss out.

Secondly, it’s important to note that these orientation sessions have limited spots. While many people may sign up, there are often only a few hundred to a thousand slots available. During the course of a single day, there may be over 5,000 registrations. With such high demand, it’s possible not to secure a spot, which means you won’t have the opportunity to attend. This is why we need to prepare one to three years in advance, considering whether the school’s philosophy is suitable for your child.

If you have been attending orientation sessions for your preferred schools for the first one or two years, by the final year, you should revisit your top one to three choices multiple times. This is because educational changes in Hong Kong happen rapidly and frequently. By attending multiple sessions, you can confirm your preferred school.

In many cases, the first time someone attends may be the mother, and the second time, it may be the father. It’s essential for the family to be in agreement, so attending orientation sessions together to understand the school’s philosophy is crucial. Once everyone has a shared understanding, you can move on to the third step, where the family sits down to discuss the direction of your child’s education. What kind of education do you envision for your child’s future? Do you want a very traditional teaching method, or do you want a happy one? Some schools are called “Happy School,” but many parents mistakenly think that a “Happy School” may not be effective.

In fact, there are two major categories of “Happy School” now. Some “Happy Schools” focus solely on happiness, but their curriculum may not align with the first-grade curriculum. Others combine happiness with effectiveness, and students from these schools have the ability to select their preferred schools because they can keep up with the first-grade curriculum. Therefore, parents need to understand what a “Happy School” is, what their teaching philosophy is, and how effective they are.

Once parents reach a consensus, it’s time to truly and thoroughly select the school that is most suitable for the child. Many times, parents may choose the best school for their child because it’s considered the best. However, what is considered the best may not necessarily be the most suitable. As parents, our goal should be to find a school that is the best fit for our child. For example, if a child is very active, parents may wonder whether they should choose a more traditional school that enforces discipline and expects students to sit still. But what if the child is like a “wild horse” and sitting still is not their nature? Or if a child struggles with English, should they attend an English primary school, or should they go to an international school?

In reality, consider this: if a child’s learning abilities are far from meeting the school’s primary requirements, they may not even want to go to school. If a child is weak in English and strong in Chinese but chooses an English primary school, they might not understand what the teacher is saying, and they would have no interest in English at all. In this case, you could argue that the child doesn’t need to attend school because they won’t grasp what the teacher is teaching, and their poor performance in English could negatively impact their overall academic progress and their interest in learning.

Parents often ask how to make the right choice. To analyze this, let’s use the analogy of a small fish in a big pond versus a big fish in a small pond. If a child attends a school where their learning abilities and performance are in the middle to upper range within that school, their confidence will increase, and they won’t feel inferior to their peers. However, if they attend a school considered “good” or prestigious but their abilities are not up to par, they may struggle and feel like a small fish in a big pond. In this scenario, the child is likely to be unhappy throughout their learning journey and may feel underestimated.

So, I would recommend that parents, first and foremost, understand how to choose a suitable school. You need to comprehend the school’s educational philosophy and evaluate the academic standards for students after they enter first grade to determine if your child is a good fit in terms of English, Chinese, and mathematics. If you believe that your child can handle these aspects well and is already coping with them, then this school is likely the right fit for your child.

Categories
Promotion of Healthy, Happy and Balanced Development of Children

Don’t treat books as miracle cure

Parent-child reading senior worker: Choi EE

Do parents face many issues when it comes to shared reading? One common issue I often share with parents is that when their children encounter problems like bedwetting or fear of the dark, they often ask me, ‘Is there a book that can help them solve this problem?’ In the context of shared reading, we purposefully use a book to influence the child, hoping it will eliminate their fears, stop bedwetting, or improve their performance. In reality, this goal can create more pressure on the child.

Think about it; if a child frequently feels fear and is apprehensive about new environments, the stories in books are meant to help them relax and reassure them that they are not alone in feeling fear. Many friends feel the same way. But how do we address this issue? Instead of seeking a specific book to help the child, we should focus on addressing the child’s psychological or physiological issues.

If a child has many inner fears or psychological issues, we should address the psychological problems first. For example, if a mom from my reading group tells me that her child occasionally wets the bed at night, we should try to understand the reasons behind it. Is it because the child forgot to go to the bathroom? Or did they drink too much water before bed? If it continues, I believe it’s important to consult a doctor rather than relying on a book to solve the issue.

We need to return to the process of parent-child shared reading. In parent-child shared reading, what we need is for parents to sincerely tell stories to their children and allow them to relax. Through the story’s plot, children can express their inner thoughts to us: ‘I’m similar to the characters in the story, I get scared too, but I also think about how to solve it.’ Instead of turning a book into a miracle cure.